The Least Common of Senses

I have come to realize that common sense is not the most common of senses. I mean we see it in all spheres of life.

Corrupt officials, from the top dogs we ironically call 'Ministers' and 'Commissioners' down to the lower ranking officials accepting dirty money and allowing illegal activities to permeate and find comfort on their watch.
From the pregnant little girl down the road, who is days away from her sweet sixteen allowing a drunk old, pantsula looking taxi driver to impregnate her even though she knows that he is more likely to leave her for one of the 3 girls that occupy the front office of the taxi when she's not around.

What about that nigga who knows very well that his mother's trying her best to get him through school and still chooses to experiment with drugs and crime, even though he has seen the Special Assignment documentaries and the News. Even in the movies most of the bad guys either get shot or die. Except for Oceans Eleven but they're gonna get caught one day, either by Will Smith and Martin Lawrence from Bad Boys, or Bruce Willis and Danny Glover from Lethal Weapon...just watch and see, don't say I didn't warn you.

But why oh why, do we human beings fall into the same traps that are conspicuous in their placements? We, Human beings are so dumb that even if a trap was placed in front of us, with a sign that read, "TRAP" and another one that says, "DANGER, GEVAAR, INGOZI" we would still go into it.
And when we get caught we either call it, a mistake or my personal favourite, "A POLITICAL CONSPIRACY". I swear these days when people are asked in court, "How do you plead?" They reply, "Political Conspiracy!"

It's funny how these 'mistakes' or 'political conspiracies' often contain passionate or material benefit that we seem to enjoy, even if the joy is fleeting.
I don't know about you, but I think it ceases to be a mistake when I actually help you take my clothes off and hide the picture of my mate.
And it ceases to be a political conspiracy when I took the money, bought a flashy 7-series, that I still have in my possession.

It's funny how creative we have become in trying to cover up our blatant wrong doing.

This is the reason I was praying last night, for myself and for a few of my friends. That God give us 3 basic qualities:

1) The ability to clearly distinguish between right and wrong;
2) The boldness to choose the right, and
3) The patience and persistence to bear the results of choosing that which is right.

That even when the passion cries out from the pit of our pants, or the emotions are raging like a fierce summer storm, even when the right decision threatens our economic or physical security, we will be able to stand for that which is right.

I think it is in this profound yet simple wisdom that God will be able to trust us with much more than we have now.

-SGM

Doctor's Emotional Order

I went to my doctor yesterday, for my yearly check up. It was supposed to be very simple I go in, he runs a couple of tests and tells me I'm in good shape. Thereafter he was supposed to quote some verses from the doctors bible. Nobody knows what's in the doctors bible because, well...it's horribly written, the only people who can read the doctors bible are doctors, witchdoctors, pharmacists and witchpharmacists. Anyway some of the main commandments in there are (and I quote my doctor):

"-Thou shall stop running away from veggies.
-Thou shall love exercise as thyself.
-Thou shall not consume an abundance of hot-wings on the Sabbath.
Thou shall lay off the red liquid from the holy communion"

To which I contend, 'But I have to have more of the blood of Jesus doctor?'

He did, however, say something out-of-character for a bachelor-doctor that drives an M3, and owns a lofty pad. 'You should share your emotions more man',
I was shocked, is this a Pharisee-doctor?

'What are emotions doctor?' I enquired.

And then he went on some long scientific and psychological explanation, enough to help me understand that they are very immusculating things men carry, usually locked up in some prison. Apparently it's part of the reason why some men get heart attacks, and strokes because they keep these 'emotion' thingies locked up.
The more he explained this the more I realized that the only way we men have emotions is because they're pretty contagious. We contracted them from spending to much time with ladies, running after them and consuming large amounts of their.....*clears throat*

That's why we keep these 'emotion' thingies locked up, because we don't know how to handle them. Women are used to handling them, they cry, vent, buy teddy bears, watch Oprah, hire psychologists, talk and talk and cry some more.

So in case you are wondering why I wrote this piece, I just want you to know that it is an order from the doctor, and I follow doctors orders.

I just watched on television how married women, cheat on their husbands...and vice versa. It angered me particularly because I've been thinking alot about this whole love-process that we apparently all have to go through. I have seen over my life some of my good friends blatantly hurting people that they loved, and I have seen my innocent friends being hurt by people that they loved and cherished.
You see I can cope with mistakes, I would be a fool not to think that in this emotion-induced drunkenss people are not bound to hurt each other here and there. But the problem with some of these situations is that some people just do it on purpose, they intentionally cheat on you, and then want to rub on you tomorrow morning as if they didn't just go and exchange passionate gestures with somebody else. Sies Maan. Sies.

Okay this is getting hectic, let me gather myself, we'll finish this tomorrow.

Guys and Journals?

So this week I read a Destiny Man article by leadership expert and (author of The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari) Robin Sharma and in it he suggested that we should keep Journals.
Journals??
-Yes Journals?
For men?
-Yes for men!!!
Aren't Journals for...STOP RIGHT THERE!!!

I use to keep a journal, in it I documented some of the major events in my life. I started writing it in 2005 (when I was in Grade11) and stopped around 2007 during my 1st year at varsity.
Those years were a bit rough for me, I was under pressure to perform well in school, felt a bit like the Israelites in the wilderness, didn't know what career path to choose, struggled with some of my most important subjects, I had just kicked off my motivational speaking and of course there was a little romance happening in my life.
So the journal was a place where I could engage myself on a one-on-one basis, I could spell out my goals for my life 5-10 years on and follow up on them on a day-to-day basis.

When my results came out I would have an accountability session with myself detailing why I didn't make it and instill implementation strategies for the new term ahead. At times I was hard on myself, sometimes shouting (and even swearing) at myself for not performing according to my full potential.
It was a also a sanctuary for my emotions, a place where I could come out and express some of the deepest concerns of my family, friends and the little romance that I had in my life. I never had anybody to get emotional with, and not the 'emotional' where men frown and express anger just to hide their genuine emotion, but the 'emotional' where you are honest with the bruises that may have been leveled on the strong-you, by even the weakest of people.

You see the secret is out, men do get emotional, those who pretend not to, spend their lives building hard exteriors that not only self-destruct in the future but cause those around them perpetual harm and despondency, leaving bitter tastes in the mouths of their wives and children (reference: Oprah Show).

Further than it being an emotional one, it can be space that you spend in engaging yourself, writing down your yearly business visions and goals, tracking them week to week. Write down your spiritual desires and weaknesses suggest ways in which to overcome them. The accountability part of it is also quite crucial, you can question yourself on:
-why you have put on so much weight with no consideration?
- Why you still put-off pursuing that part-time course at the business school answer the tough questions like why you have been using business profits on females that do you no good.

You can even ask more long term questions like, should you take that Job Offer in Cape Town, or stay in Witbank, look at the cost implications, the growth and exposure implications.

One can even engage themselves on the options between a potential romance brewing up, is this the person for you? Do they contain the qualities you look for or Is it just a lustful desire? If it is a lustful desire is it worth pursuing, and if so what are costs and the benefits?

The truth of the matter is that most of us roam around the earth with unanswered questions in our lives, confusions of sorts. When we are unsure we tend to ask other people of their opinions of the situations in our lives, when in fact the answers are right in the inside of us. The trick is we don't spend enough time with ourselves to 'unearth'the answers.

Men, Real Men are those that can spend time engaging and deliberating with themselves, those that are brutally honest with their weaknesses and also build on their strengths. Men who cannot be honest with themselves are less likely to be honest with other people (REAL TALK).
I could conclude by telling you that Nelson Mandela, Winston Churchill, Steve Biko had journals...and because these great men had journals you should have one too, but that would be me trying to be a salesperson. I am being honest with you now, man to man...the benefit of getting a journal far out weighs the costs.
The cost is that you may seem a bit feminine to both yourself and those around you, this is especially true in SA's deep rooted african patriarchal culture.
The benefit is that you get in touch with you, the real you...and are able to afford finer nights of rest.
Gosh, this is hectic, let me go put it in my journal #running.

2 tips To Make Keeping A Journal Easier
Tip #1:
One of the wonderful things about this technologically advanced world of ours is that we have all these wonderful devices that can make 'Journaling' a lot easier. Carrying a small book will probably have people suspecting you for a journalist or a private investigator, but you can use cool things like a note-pad in your phone. These cool functions give you the ability to document in even the most awkward of places, when time avails itself. You can journal on your blackberry while you wait in a line in the bank, you can find a quiet place while they wash the car or even when you are waiting for your girlfriend to 'FINISH UP' *Frown*.
Just make sure you look over your shoulder for those funny people in line that make it a habit of not minding their own business.

Tip#2:
You don't have to Journal everyday, you can do it every second day, or every third day depending on your comfortability. But make sure that you don't use your journal for emotional frustrations only, but let it be a wholistic experience with self.

Try it, if it doesn't work I will allow all men to make me stand trial for 'Crimes Against Manhood'. If it works, tell a friend.

Conference- Report

So the Emalahleni Development Conference has passed and it has been a very emotional experience, partly because it was one of the greatest ideas I have ever concievd, and partly because I have never experienced so much disappointment from so many people in such a short space of time.
The idea was born sometime during my exam time, I got all excited bout it, but chose to draft a brief skeleton and shelve it lest I get distracted and forget about Finance 3 which has given me a whooping before.
After my exams I engaged a couple of individuals who I believd would make a substantial contribution to the event, some of them live in Johannesburg and others in Emalahleni, all of them very close to me, trusted confidants.
These people were game, all three of them thought the idea was a noble one and expressd their intrest in it.
The two difficult tasks in organizing the conference was the speakers and sponsorships, the speakers part was not all that difficult, the relationships I had with all the speakers or with people who knew the speakers were the catalyst in the process, and a special thanks to Carol Mkhize and Monde Ndlovu for setting us up with our guest speakers, speakers we would not have otherwise had.
Sponsorship was the biggest headache of them all. My initial hope for the finance side of things was that we could secure sponsorship from the black business community who I had hoped would back this event wholeheartedly. I avoided big corporates because of the hassle of red tape.
My approach to the businessmen would be 'let us develop the youth', and most of them liked the sound of the tune, I had secured a potential sponsor within two weeks and a cousin of mine who had expressed an intrest in sponsoring and a couple of other directions. I saw no reason for signing letters of intent because of the very close relationships I had with these people...a decision I would later deeply regret.
When it came to delivering on the promises both people backed out. Another had a genuine investment problem, and my one cousin stoppd answering my calls completely.
I tried other business people, and their declined responses ranged in their negativity. One man came out right and told me 'NO' another gave me a two week run around and finally said 'NO' and another kept on postponing, and postponing and postponing.
There was another deep blow to the event: MARKETING. This aspect I will not discuss at length, I will however let you know that concrete plans that were set up. Our only hindrance was the finances and a thousand postponements from our appointed marketing manager. I will however take full responsibility for that failure; my indecision to react swiftly when the clock was ticking was a lack of decisive leadership on my part.
With no sponsorship and no marketing to help in running this event I had a decision to make. Either cancel or postpone the event.

I personally think it would've bin criminal to postpone the event, solely because there is no perfect time or condition to begin a revolution, for an event of this magnitude and aim is similar in magnitude and thought as any revolution, whether it be a revolution of arms like the armed struggle, or a revolution of the mind like black consciousness...it is a revolution nonethless. I decided that it would be more of an evil to run the event and fail, than not run the event at all. From that point onwards ther were no two ways about it, we were going to hustle this event into being, and hustle we did.
My mother and family member’s decided to chip in, Mr. Jerry Makhudu also helped me out financially with a bit of marketing and in the band. I think he did so with realization of my desperation (a true blessing indeed), the Local Municipality gave us the hall free of charge, Peace Sibanyoni gave us free coverage of the event, Pearl and Twister from Prolific designs did a wonderful job on the designing and printing on the posters...we got going. Thabiso Mabogoane also helped us out with some of the large expenses.
On the day of the event as I hustled I was torn apart by the numbers...I couldn't believe that the amount of work put in would be from an average of 50ppl on all three sessions...but at that moment I had a choice to make... to be de-motivated by the many who had decided to stay at home, or conjure up the little strength for the few who had the determination and resilience to stay and be part of such an initiative.
I enjoyed myself though, I wouldn’t have spent my time doing anything else.
I have heard Dr. Naves speak before, obviously because of the tremendous amount of time I have spent with her, but Mr. Lot Ndlovu blew me away, the intellect the honesty and the effort put in his speech shows that he counted us among the cream of the countries youth, it was captivating indeed. What was even more fulfilling was that they are Witbank’s very own proud products.
Carol and Kabelo carried the baton wonderfully and didn’t disappoint, they upheld the standard as I knew they would. What I liked about their message was that it wasn’t theatrical but simply honest and testimonial, what more could one ask for.
If you ask me if the event was a failure or success I wouldn’t answer you, I don't know. I am the worst judge of such things. I think the best judge of this event will be the future...yep the future... the future events, future conferences...and the future generations. Another good judge would be those who were there. I am just looking forward to the next one.
As I said this generation of the youth of Emalahleni will influence the continent...I have no doubt about that.

Emalahleni is the POWA!!!

So over the past month I have had the privelage of working on the Emalahleni Development Conference, as difficult and incomplete as the task is, I must say I feel very enthusiastic about it. Not because it promises to be one of the most extravagent events the city has seen but because it signals the beginning of great things to come within the city of Emalahleni.
I feel very honord to be born in this generatn, as I said on one of my blogs, that I would pass the opportunity to be born during Gen 1:1 to be born in this generatn, I would even pass the opportunty of experiencing June 1976 and even the civl rights movment, all so that I can be right here and right now. This is the 'make it happen' generation, a generation whose agitation of the current state of affairs makes them wish for a better tomorrow, and further more vigilantly pursue it.

The sole purpose of this conference is to launch a series of events that will inspire and provide leadership developments in the city. Moreover it is created to initiate an environment of constructiv engagement with in the youth of the city. By constructive engagment I mean engagement which is key to influencing the future of the city. This means socio-economical issues with in the city, and other politicial and religious engagemtns.
To mentions but a few of the 'topics' that we will dicuss further on in the confrence,
- the role of young professionals over and above their professional careers
-developing the economics of the regions through the development of small business
-the role in which the spiritual community can play an active and practical role in the development of the youth
- Nationalisation, and its practicality and relevance in our generation
-the role that mentorship can play in the development of the youth
These are just a few of the topics that the conference will cover over the years of its existence.
The confrence will solely be built around the development of the region, and will ensure that many of the issues that deal with the youth (directly) are discussed and are efficiently and effectivly dealt with.
As I have vehemently stated this is not a gethering of a sinlg type of grouping, but seeks to engage all the sectors of society.

When we commence the confrence on Friday, we will have a motivational talk by myself on Friday 17:30 @ lynville hall,
On Saturday we will follow with a dynamic and youth specific leadership talk by Lot Ndlovu and Dr. Pat Naves. The speakers lived in Witbank for a great amount of time, especially in the foramtive years of their success. They have both gone on 2 achieve tremendous amounts of success, Lot Ndlovu as once presidnet of the BMF and once Executive Director of Nedbank Group Ltd. Dr. Pat Naves in her careers as a successful academic, human resoeuces though leader and as former director of human resources @ the SABC.

On Saturday we finish off with a wonderful spiritual session by Kabelo ‘Buga Luv’ Mabalane and my personal friend and leader Carol Mkhize. We all know Kabelo and his story, and I will save Carols introduction for when I do introduce her, but both these individuals are going to deal with an aspect which I personally believe is integral to the development of 'effective' leadership.

The confrence was meant to have two legs which were unfortunately canceled due to the lack of support of the event by the black business. We will however begin with a tremendous experience to be followed (hopefully) during youth month.

I hope that we will come in numbers and I hope it attracts more crowds than shisa nyama on a Friday night. As ambitious as that sounds it represents a genuine desire, that if we are to enjoy debauchery we would at least also indulge in constructive sessions for the benefit of the mind and soul. I also hope that the event would spread faster than gossip and that it occupies people’s minds and conversations for months after its staging.
Sounds Ambitious doesn’t it? Not at all, it’s actually very practical and necessary, talking about our future and our children’s future is very practical and necessary.
Emalahleni Development Confrence.... Developing the Next Generation of leaders.
Emalahleni is the POWA!!!!

2011

So it's the last day of the year, 2010 comes to an end. If you had asked me five years ago, "where would you be on the 30th of December 2010?" I would've mentioned a couple of places, and a couple of activities but none of them would include sitting in my mothers lounge, listening to Bill Withers preparing a piece for a blog that has about twenty active SA visitors, two from the US and three from the UK...(My blog stats recently revealed this to me, I think it's the CIA and Scotland Yard checking up on me after I made that tasteless status update about 9/11 not too long ago).
I thought and hoped I would definitely be far by now (in terms of personal accomplishment).
Besides the hype around soccer world cup, 2010 for me was meant to be the end of a long, tiring and winding journey, and at the close of 2010 I would be preparing 4 a new chapter.
Well as you can tell by the bitter taste on these lines, I am not quite there. As a matter of fact the original plan has been aborted. Partly by choice and partly by circumstance.
That's the thing with all plans of life, you plan to get to point 'A' on method 1 and all of a sudden the winds of reality have pushed you into an intended direction landing you in unanticipated territory.

There are only a handful of people that have had the privilege of smooth sailing towards their goals.
Yet for those of us who haven't the benefit of reaching our goals in (desired) time, there is always the added benefit of lessons learnt.
When I look at where I was 5 years ago, and I look at where I am now I am quite pleased with the distance covered. Of course I could've covered more, but I do believe I have covered a reasonable level.

One of the greatest deterrents of efficient planning is that individuals have a tendency of looking at the original objective and desired outcome, and forget all the added benefits that come with the journey itself, e.g. when I went to Wits the original plan was to get a degree and get out, a degree that would prepare me for the corporate posts I would occupy over this life of mine. Yes I didn't get there in the desired time, but I had the opportunity of building 2 non-profit organization's and a business. I've rubbed shoulders with some of the greatest 'next-generation' leaders this country is about to see. All of these lessons and relationships are going to be instrumental in my development as a human being, as a businessman, father and whatever else I choose 2 be in the future.

Many of us stop dreaming and planning because we are tired of failed attempts, un-met expectations and the emotional roller coasters. Our hearts get so tired that they settle for no expectation instead of being teased and dropped.

But our lives are so much more than profit forecasts, and cash flow projections...they are a series of experiences, all of which are necessary processes for our next step.
All of these experiences are necessary for our growth, for our health and for our sanity and none of them should be undermined, or despised even in our temporary distress.

I don't believe that the universe conspires to help us reach our achievements (it's probably because I haven't met Mr. Universe), I do believe however that God works everything out for our good...I somehow trust that even though my own life does not go according to my plan, that his hand is somehow involved in ensuring that His plan (and not mine) gets fulfilled, and that is not at all an excuse for sluggish behavior.
As the year 2011 comes through I hope we will look back upon 2010 and smile and we will prepare our resolutions, our plans and desires and pursue them with all strength and determination.
Two years ago I was telling a cousin of mine how the year 2008 had been a rocky one for me, and how I just felt that I had deeply messed up. He advised me as such, "My chief it's alright, what has happened has happened, just make sure that when I talk to you next year on the same date, you are singing a different tune from the current one'
So I put this challenge to you, no matter how good or bad the year has been for you...put your plans down and make sure that when you sit down to sing next year (on the 31st of december 2011) with the orchestra of your achievements, you are singing the exact tune that was penned down on your music sheet 12 months before.
Heppy Heppy

FIGHT BACK

Fighting back is about standing up for what you believe in.
If you believe in your dreams you'll fight back when circumstances come your way, when people try to take it away 4rmyou, when lecturers attempt 2 steal it 4rm you.
Fighting Back means that you are not a whiner, you don't cry over spilt milk, or lost wars or failed attempts...you don't cry over what could've been, but u rejoice over what will be.
Your rejoicing does not stem 4rm unsubstantiated emotions, but on the understanding that you are going to give it your all. You are not consoled by false hope, your excitement is not rooted on figments of imagination but on Gods promises...he said he wouldn't leave you, you trust Him, everyday you wake up with that faith that trust, that He who has brought you this far will not leave you.
Fighting back is not only about recovering all that's been lost, but seeking to recover all and more. Its about understanding that the struggles were not 4 nothing and that the inevitable victory is not simply there to restore order, but to create a new order. The order of abundance the order of purpose, the order of new blessings every morning.
Those who fight back know that the Kingdom suffereth violence and the violent take it by force, we know there is an enemy. sometimes he portrays himself as such, other times he purports to b a friend, sometimes he spews violence other times he seems sympathetic 2 our cause. Whatever his strategies we know him now, we have seen him...we know his voice...we know who to run from and who to run to...
Fight back...fight back...nothing in the world will be achieved without fighting.
Throw a punch, or a stone or a brick, swing a slap, kick,put sum teeth and sum nails... , scratch, whatever you do don't watch while circumstances try 2 bring you down, even with your back against the ropes, or the referee counting you out...FIGHT BACK!!!