So this week I read a Destiny Man article by leadership expert and (author of The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari) Robin Sharma and in it he suggested that we should keep Journals.
Journals??
-Yes Journals?
For men?
-Yes for men!!!
Aren't Journals for...STOP RIGHT THERE!!!
I use to keep a journal, in it I documented some of the major events in my life. I started writing it in 2005 (when I was in Grade11) and stopped around 2007 during my 1st year at varsity.
Those years were a bit rough for me, I was under pressure to perform well in school, felt a bit like the Israelites in the wilderness, didn't know what career path to choose, struggled with some of my most important subjects, I had just kicked off my motivational speaking and of course there was a little romance happening in my life.
So the journal was a place where I could engage myself on a one-on-one basis, I could spell out my goals for my life 5-10 years on and follow up on them on a day-to-day basis.
When my results came out I would have an accountability session with myself detailing why I didn't make it and instill implementation strategies for the new term ahead. At times I was hard on myself, sometimes shouting (and even swearing) at myself for not performing according to my full potential.
It was a also a sanctuary for my emotions, a place where I could come out and express some of the deepest concerns of my family, friends and the little romance that I had in my life. I never had anybody to get emotional with, and not the 'emotional' where men frown and express anger just to hide their genuine emotion, but the 'emotional' where you are honest with the bruises that may have been leveled on the strong-you, by even the weakest of people.
You see the secret is out, men do get emotional, those who pretend not to, spend their lives building hard exteriors that not only self-destruct in the future but cause those around them perpetual harm and despondency, leaving bitter tastes in the mouths of their wives and children (reference: Oprah Show).
Further than it being an emotional one, it can be space that you spend in engaging yourself, writing down your yearly business visions and goals, tracking them week to week. Write down your spiritual desires and weaknesses suggest ways in which to overcome them. The accountability part of it is also quite crucial, you can question yourself on:
-why you have put on so much weight with no consideration?
- Why you still put-off pursuing that part-time course at the business school answer the tough questions like why you have been using business profits on females that do you no good.
You can even ask more long term questions like, should you take that Job Offer in Cape Town, or stay in Witbank, look at the cost implications, the growth and exposure implications.
One can even engage themselves on the options between a potential romance brewing up, is this the person for you? Do they contain the qualities you look for or Is it just a lustful desire? If it is a lustful desire is it worth pursuing, and if so what are costs and the benefits?
The truth of the matter is that most of us roam around the earth with unanswered questions in our lives, confusions of sorts. When we are unsure we tend to ask other people of their opinions of the situations in our lives, when in fact the answers are right in the inside of us. The trick is we don't spend enough time with ourselves to 'unearth'the answers.
Men, Real Men are those that can spend time engaging and deliberating with themselves, those that are brutally honest with their weaknesses and also build on their strengths. Men who cannot be honest with themselves are less likely to be honest with other people (REAL TALK).
I could conclude by telling you that Nelson Mandela, Winston Churchill, Steve Biko had journals...and because these great men had journals you should have one too, but that would be me trying to be a salesperson. I am being honest with you now, man to man...the benefit of getting a journal far out weighs the costs.
The cost is that you may seem a bit feminine to both yourself and those around you, this is especially true in SA's deep rooted african patriarchal culture.
The benefit is that you get in touch with you, the real you...and are able to afford finer nights of rest.
Gosh, this is hectic, let me go put it in my journal #running.
2 tips To Make Keeping A Journal Easier
Tip #1:
One of the wonderful things about this technologically advanced world of ours is that we have all these wonderful devices that can make 'Journaling' a lot easier. Carrying a small book will probably have people suspecting you for a journalist or a private investigator, but you can use cool things like a note-pad in your phone. These cool functions give you the ability to document in even the most awkward of places, when time avails itself. You can journal on your blackberry while you wait in a line in the bank, you can find a quiet place while they wash the car or even when you are waiting for your girlfriend to 'FINISH UP' *Frown*.
Just make sure you look over your shoulder for those funny people in line that make it a habit of not minding their own business.
Tip#2:
You don't have to Journal everyday, you can do it every second day, or every third day depending on your comfortability. But make sure that you don't use your journal for emotional frustrations only, but let it be a wholistic experience with self.
Try it, if it doesn't work I will allow all men to make me stand trial for 'Crimes Against Manhood'. If it works, tell a friend.
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