Protection Of Leggings Bill

I'm sure most men have been in this situation. You're walking through the mall minding your own business, not looking for trouble, not even tryna look at hot women, when just after you walk out of Stuttafords to check if that shoe you like is still there, there it is. A women wearing leggings, at first you can't really see properly if it’s the only thing she is wearing, you thought it was a really tight jean, or maybe you had swapped eyes with Hugh Hefner. So to confirm that your eyes are really seeing what they think they're seeing you wait for her to pass, but you don't turn like those kasi guys who open their eyes wide and lick their lips as a woman passes by. No you are decent, you wait for her to take a couple of steps past you, just as many to avoid looking like a taxi driver but just enough for you to confirm your suspicions.
"OH MY GOSH!!!! YOH IYOH"
Someone give me the number for the fashion police.

At first ladies wearing leggings as pants was a complete rarity, ladies everywhere knew the rules, it was either a longish top or a shawl wrapped around the waist to cover the bottom. It seemed at least that this unwritten rule was obeyed. It wasn't until I first saw that one chick at Cresta Mall and that big eyed chick from Wits-West Campus that the bubble burst. In fact all I've seen that chick wear are leggings, everyday, she started it, that big eyed woman... you know her Juanita's friend. I hope she has a couple of extra pairs, because if you going to wear leggings like that, and that often then you need to change them, you can't have just one.

I swear these two people started it all, they tore the veil. The next week I fancied a few glasses of Jesus' blood and a couple house tunes at the Bank in Rosebank and every second woman was wearing them as pants. It was like the end of the world, turmoil everywhere. Order and discipline were destroyed, lawlessness prevailed, the criminals were having their way.

Let me get serious: Day in-Day out we have hear feminist after feminist preaching the gospel of equality amongst the genders, about oppressive patriarchal settings in the workplace, about jokes that perpetuate the objectifying of women etc. I fully agree with some of them even though their advocacies deprive me of my patriarchal benefits.
But women have a big role to play in society, and so far they've played their roles superbly. However the responsibility of treatment lies equally on men as it does on women i.e. If women want men to stop objectifying them, then they need to stop acting like objects.

Okay sorry that was crude. What I meant to say was: Even though the boundaries of fashion are pushed they have the unintended tendency of making it tougher for men to put away their object spectacles, remember progressive men are MEN too you know.
The un-objective feminist may argue, "It's not our fault that men have difficulty managing the guns in their pockets!"
To which I shudder and shake my head, as the feminist cause gets tossed into the closet, to be called upon during our precious Women's Month and again during 16days of Activism. *sigh*